Day one without Bruno has been a doozy. Today would be his 8th birthday. Waves of emotion come and go. I smile when I think of him, then cry because he’s physically no longer with us. On one hand it’s so quiet, and on the other his absence and the void is enormous. It’s strange to let Daphne out, to go the restroom, and to only hold the door open for her to come inside. I keep feeling the need to hold the door open longer as I always had for my boy who was always slightly lagging behind. I miss the pitter patter of his footsteps across our floor. The sound of my tripawd; the clicking of his first two steps followed by a slight pause and then the gentle drag of his remaining hind leg following behind. Today, as I got into our Tahoe I noticed that the seatbelt was fastened and realized that yesterday my husband had buckled in Bruno (now ashes encased in a black box) into the passenger seat as they’d taken their last drive home together. It made me cry, such loving care taken of our boy. Daphne seems okay for now. She’s wired differently than him. She’s a sweet girl but less in tune with human emotion and more easily distracted by her drive for whatever it is we wave in front of her. As for now, I’ll take it day by day.I plan on honoring his memory, spoiling Daphne, and spending overdue time with the four boys he and Daphne blessed us with.
Happy Birthday Bruno!
Yesterday was another sad day. I thought about Bruno all day. He has left so many beautiful memories. I found myself laughing and crying as I thought about him. I remembered my roadtrip with him going to Arkansas in a U-Haul crossing through the busy Dallas highway. I was singing, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray.” I looked over at him and he had this look that made me laugh. I don’t know if he liked my singing or he was trying to say “Please stop singing!” I loved to receive the pictures and videos my daughter sent of Bruno and Daphne swimming, running through the snow, or playing in the yard. I would show my students the videos and they would become part of a lesson in my classroom. Bruno had become part of my life. I know he is in heaven with my dad. I can only imagine how excited Dad was when he saw Bruno. He must have said, “He boy, whatcha doing here, huh? Come on Bruno, you be fine.” Bruno’s more than fine. My dad is so lovable. They are keeping each other company. I know that Bruno now brings joy to those in heaven. We’ll miss him, but I know he is in an awesome place.
Texas Grandma
I am so sorry for your loss. What courage you had to say your final goodbyes. I am tearing up just thinking about that day for us and hope it is not in our near future. May you take comfort in knowing that you were 100% there for Bruno and that he loved you all.