WHEN will the day come in which when I open my eyes & awaken to a new day, that the thought (blissful & peaceful , yet NOT fully conscious) of Bruno, which is the first to greet me EACh morning, will be allowed to linger; STAY with me a second longer.
WHEN will I have a morning in which Bruno, and thoughts of him -beckoning my attention- will Not feel ‘forcefully-ripped’, ‘shattered-intentionally’, and pried away from me?
EACH morning, the same. My “Awareness”-and the way by which I arrive at that state, an awaken, is so immediate and forced. EACH morning it reveals itself to me by jolting me into ‘Reality’. And in that very instant I Remember that my (old) reality is no longer, and that Bruno is not with me.
(These are the times when ‘Reality BITES!’) How can it be that EACH morning it feels the same? So- unexpected and heavy, as though I’ve been punched in the gut.
It’s as though a cruel, sinister prankster, “Reality”, finds pleasure in tormenting me by watching me fall victim to the “groundhog day” effect. EACH morning, over, and over again.
“REAliTY!”- is currently a.k.a “my nemesis”, “bully”, “tormenter”…
“Reality.” -It rushes upon me, overwhelming my emotions and mind; StEALING the glimpse of Bruno which I yearn for (taking the happiness which accompanied that brief moment with it). I awaken feeling vandalized & disillusioned by my “Awareness” to my “Reality”.
WHY can’t “REality” just give it a rest?!?!
JUST for ONE morning.
JUST for ONE morning, please ALLOW me the pleasure of remaining in that hazy, unaware state (in which I am transported back to the serene memory of our blessed, extraordinary, everyday life-what I call “HoME”. That sacred, secure, special place.)
JUST for ONE morning?
JUST for a Moment longer!
JUST for a Moment longer, can I peer back to times- times, NOT so long ago- when my life, my family, was the way I’ve always know it to be; the way I ALWAYS wanted it to be and remain.Unchanged. With Bruno…still here.
For JUST ONE Morning. JUST a Moment longer.